I Hate Nature...Sometimes

I am from the city.
Not the suburbs.
The city.
We had alleys and traffic and I took the city bus to school and when I was late I took a cab.
We walked a lot. There were sidewalks.
And museums, And different cultures and food and people and ideas.
Every once in a while, I miss it.

My beautiful family and I live waaay out in the burbs. 45 minutes from DC or Baltimore.
But, I do love it.
We have a huge yard. Huge.
And a great big house and animals and space and a long safe driveway to ride bikes and skateboards and a wonderful community and great schools and nature.
but every once in a while, I need to get out of the fucking nature!

Autumn would be one of these times. Yes. It's beautiful. The leaves are turning.
The breeze is blowing. But fucking nature is everywhere.

Our HUGE county fair goes on in late September.
Yup. County fair. With food and crafts and a shitload of animals and hay and grass and poop and nature.
And of course my little angels want to wallow in it and see every damn creature and pet them and make friends and frolic in the hay. So we go. Often.
That was my catalyst to get the hell out of town.

That, and pumpkin patches. I think I hate pumpkin patches too.
The ones out here are way out in the boonies, on a farm with more nature.
You park in some mud hole and gather with thousands of your friends while the kids clamor to go through mazes and jump on bouncy things and jump in dried corn and go to the petting zoo and take the fucking hay ride so you can trek through more mud and pick up way too many pumpkins that you now have to carry back.

So, this momma needed a break.

I just needed sidewalks and taxis and public transportation and museums and trash and traffic and a couple homeless people and culture and a sad little tree surrounded by a fence and buildings close together and people who didn't know me and don't want to.

Luckily, I have a husband who loves me and knows of my breaking point with nature and my need for city. By my damn self. No kids. Quality Becca time.

Chicago was out of the question. Not enough time or money.

But DC would do.
So I hired a sitter for a Friday when the kids had off school, and I left.
I stayed in a hotel. I walked on sidewalks.
I took a cab and I rode the metro.
I went to museums and lingered.
I went to a coffeehouse.
I hung out with a few great old friends.
It was fantastic.

And now I am ready for more nature.
Just no more pumpkin patches.

A Bad Day and Cotton Panties?

I had a very cruddy day today.

I had an asthma attack. Not one that quickly went away. One that hurt, and lingered, and took a lot of meds to get back to normal. Then I got to spend the rest of the day recovering from all the meds. Shaky, cranky, wheezy me.

Jonny was okay for a while, but he's 4, so he had his moments. I was not allowed to stay in bed all day, there were games to play and movies to watch. Yes, I turn to the almighty television in times like these.
Go ahead and judge.

Then Sydney came home, and we had some family fun before we all had to rush off for Princess' poms practice.

Of course, while running a few essential errands before practice, the kids decided to act like complete animals. They continued this display of utter madness in the car on the short drive to the practice field.

I remember yelling at the kids to get out of the car, keep their hand to themselves, and get Princess down to field before I said anything else unpleasant.

The rest of the hour was a blur of chatter gossip, and trying to keep Jonny entertained and away from the port o potties.

I did not realize I left my keys in the car, with the lights on, until it was time to go home and my battery was dead. Perfect,

A very nice dad helped jump my car. Of course during all this craziness my kids decide to completely leave my sight, which was also very helpful to my state of mind. Not really, but in retrospect it probably was best for my temper. I recruited a mom to watch them so they weren't completely unattended.

So I tried really hard not to cry, and I succeeded. Until I got home and I got a gluten free beer, and had a little sniffle.

Then my awesome husband came home and heard me gripe.
He was patient. He was understanding.

Then he said, "you know why this all happened, don't you?"
"NO I don't, please enlighten me"
"Cotton Underpants"
"Scuse me?"
"Seriously, when was the lace time you wore a lacy bra or underpants? I bet this wouldn't happen if you were wearing fancy pants."
"Thanks so much, baby. I have no idea how I would get through the day without you."
"I love you. Tomorrow is a new day"

Guess what I'm wearing tomorrow, just in case.