Why Do We Not Carry Flasks?

Over the past few weeks, with Holidays, birthday parties, sporting events, meetings, etc. I have come to the realization that I really need to carry a flask.
All the time.
In my purse.
All the time.
Just in case.

I think I may be only partially joking here.
Especially when it gets colder, why aren't we drinking more?
I'm not talking about getting loaded. Just a little nip here and there. And here.
I think it would be better for everyone if I drank a little more and stressed a little less.

With the crowds and the people
And my kids and other kids
And stupid people and stupid kids
And chaos and congestion and stress and people taking shit waaaaay to seriously.
Momma need a drink! Now.
In a flask.
From her purse.
Just in case

And indoor birthday parties? Please.
I have been to two birthday parties on Saturdays in December. One I hosted.
Damn Winter birthdays? Why DIDN'T I bring a flask?
The kids had a great time. I was straight up buggin out.

I would have been way better with just a little mommy beverage in my hand.
It's like a grown up security blanket.
Clink Clink.
All is well.

Examples where having a flask would be beneficial:

• Kinds birthday parties where there isn't open bar or a cooler (see, that's why I LOVE summer)
• waiting for Santa in a mall
• PTA meetings
• football games
• kids basketball or football or soccer games (I know I am not alone here, so pretend to be shocked)
• recitals of any kind
• sports lessons where you are forced to sit and watch and socialize with other parents you may or may not care for.

I know there are more, so feel free to comment on what I missed. I am starting a revolution here!

Why I love the gym

I'm not waaay out of shape, but I'm not as in shape as I would like to be.
I am no stranger to working out though. Back when I had free time, like, before kids,
I used to do sit ups and push ups by the hundreds.
Each day.
On purpose.
I loved yoga.
I had six pack abs. No shit.
Thank GOD I took pictures.

Now,
like I said, I am still relatively tall and thin (god bless genes)
but my six pack turned to four, then disappeared completely.
What used to be my awesome rower's thighs of steel are now what my children like to call "wobbly".
Or floppy.
"mama, your bottom is so floppy."
"Your underwear is too small for your bottom"
Aw, thanks.
don't ya just love kids.
Or just wish they would stay the hell out of the bathroom.


Needless to say, time to get my floppy butt back to the gym on more than a monthly basis.
Or perhaps work out for a longer period of time than I spend in the sauna.
Just an idea.

I am now in week two of every other day light/moderate workouts of 30 minutes followed by a bevy of sit ups and push ups. Days off are stretching and light walking. Seriously not too hard.

What the hell was I thinking?
Why do I not remember this hurting so damn bad ten years ago?
Oh yeah, because I was young, hot, and had time to recover.
Now every damn thing hurts.
I did A TOTAL 30 fucking push ups today, and toting the laundry basket up a flight of stairs was painful.
30. I used to do 30 push ups during one commercial break.
And damn the ipod!
My workout music was so awesome today I may have pushed a little harder.
Tomorrow I am sticking with slow jazz. And I'm spending more time in that sauna.
ow.

And now, my day still isn't over. I get to move small children in and out of tubs, or bed, or off each other to prevent major injury.
I think this is all the workout I can handle.

I will continue to do my every other day routine at the gym . It sure beats freaking out over the PTA budget. But I may even out sauna and workout time.
You gotta sweat something off, right?
And really, the best part of the gym, aside from the sauna, is that I get to take a shower by myself.
Without someone small remarking on the size of my floppy bottom.