The Light Switch Has Turned On!

I was substitute teaching in the kids' school yesterday when Jonny's teacher beckoned me over. Our school has no walls (don' get me started), so the beckon is not a tough thing to do. Guess who has not only met the grade expectations for reading, but exceeded them? Damn right!

Was I happy? YES! Surprised? Hell no.

Since he has been in various preschools, I have been told

• Jonny has a speech problem (he does, but he is now improving thanks to the help of a therapist, and is now seeing her only once a week).
• Jonny may be autistic (he's been tested. Nope)
• Jonny is a powerful child with a strong personality (No doubt. Look at his parents)
• Jonny may have sensory processing issues (He does, and they are mild)
• I am a pushover and need to "put my foot down". 
• I am crazy and he's doing just fine. 

Some of these things may be true, they may be not. But we have to keep going and find out what works for us, and for Jonny.

I have a dear friend that I met through the grace of God a few summers back. She saw the specialness in Jonny, and both my kids.  The kind nurturer that he is, and the nervous wreck that I was. Jonny wanted to ride ponies on vacation since he loves animals. However, if you bark commands at him and expect him to let you just lift him up onto a saddle without even a hello, you have something coming. Angie saw this, and has been a part of our life ever since.
She is working on a presentation about Jonny for a conference: "Letting Go of Preconceived Ideas and Experiencing Success in the Classroom". That's us. Boom!

So this is what I wrote her:

The thing I wish I could scream from the mountain tops is not to put your kid in a box, and not to let others do so as well. It may be easy to slap a label on a kid, but you have to look beyond that., You have to look beyond your own issues and hang ups and preconceptions about what or who your kid is, and deal with what you have. Because it's usually pretty great. Tools are great, and it's great to know "why" things are happening. But once you figure out the why, you have to deal with the how, and teach your kid to deal. Find the great and nurture it.

 

My kid is loving, and nurturing, and sensitive, and he loves animals. They give him joy, and something to talk to that won't judge him, and a source of confidence. So I use that, and it has been amazing, for all of us.

 

We as adults take a lot of liberties. We want kids to all be extroverts. We want to be able to touch kids on their heads, or give them hugs, without a protest. Not all kids are like that. Do you like getting hugged by strangers. Does it take a grownup some practice to look someone in the eye? DO you like it when people can't understand you and keep asking you o repeat yourself?

 

My son has sensory processing disorder. He has a trouble getting over stuff. He wants things to be a certain way, and when they're not, he has a hard time with the transition. The tough part is that some of the time, this leads to tantrums. Or fits, or completely freak outs.

 

They used to make me crazy, But this is not about me. This is about him. I have learned (through my parent coach) that what is watered will grow. I do not water his tantrums by feeding them. I stay close, but I don't yell. I just keep a normal tone and I tell him I will be here when he' ready. Because I will.

Jonny has made huge strides with the help of others. With Angie, Dan, and Keith, he has gained a huge amount of confidence in 2 summers. This confidence has carried over into his school and home life. With the help of his teachers and reading specialists and speech therapists and occupational therapists he is moving ahead. He is doing so well he doesn't even need some of them anymore! This is great, because he really hates being pulled out of class. That in of itself is amazing, since just a year ago he hated school. Now he doesn't want to miss any of it!

And a huge shout out goes to his sister, who reads to him every night and will kick your hiney if you say anything bad about her brother. Really. She will.

 

I recently found out that he has jumped 5 reading levels since the start of the school year! He is now above grade level, not below!

 

The light switch has turned on. But we're not done yet. We have to maintain. And I am so grateful to everyone who has helped to make this happen. It really does take a village.

And if you see Jonny, DO NOT CONGRATULATE HIM. He doesn't like the attention. Just say hi and tell him he looks good. He likes that.