The Great Chocolate Schism.

Ok, so a little about me. I am the treasurer of the Urbana Elementary School PTA. Yeah, it's a volunteer position, but as a PTA, we go through about 60 grand a year, and we make all that money through fundraisers.

I HATE frikkin fundraisers. Love hate really, but you get the drift.

We are at the end of a World's finest Chocolate fundraiser, and I am pretty sure it was the topic for Dante's Inferno.

When we got the flippin chocolate in March (Feb? It's all a blur). We had two huge pallets of almost 500 cases each. Well, one case arrived to our door, REEKING of brake fluid. No joke. The trucking company spilled TOXIC fluid all over our candy, and just dropped it off, hoping we wouldn't notice the stench. Well, we did, called the sales guy, he called the company, they told us it was an ACT OF GOD.

That's right, Act of God. Well, as far as I know, God does not have much to do with brake fluid, jackass.

This is about the time when I got involved. You see, I do not fear conflict. In fact, I am pretty good at it. Most of the ladies in the PTA are wonderfully nice, sweet even, civilized, and relatively conflict free. Not this girl. No one has ever called me sweet. Ever. Plus, I handle the cash; I was not paying for this crap, and I wanted a bigger profit for the PTA for selling all the non poisonous candy while we were at it.

So I get to the school, and the lady in charge of the fundraising committee (yeah, we are so cool we have committees) was STILL trying to get in touch with our sales guy.
I came in, took the phone and hung it up. Screw that guy, we are going to the top. So I called the home office, talked to the gal in charge, told her how it was going down, and by the way how could she make it up to us. A few days later I was still trying to iron things out, so I ended up talking to her boss, and ended up getting a little more, a whole lot faster. It didn't hurt that the home office is in Chicago, where I was born and raised, so I think the dude was used to handling direct women. And I speak fluent Chicago sports, which is always a plus.

So, in short, I get stuff done.
Now this crap is OVER, and we found another mess up. A bunch of cases of candy have the wrong labels, not our PTA, and have to be picked up and go back. NOTHING TO DO WITH MONEY. But, because this may actually mean a little more conflict, people think I need to organize and coordinate a truck coming to the school.

No No No, my sisters. I am the money lady, and the negotiator, I am not the fall back for everything chocolate. Because I make calls, and ask questions, and get different prices, that does not make me the contact. That makes me an awesome treasurer!

Jesus Mary and Joseph!

OK, enough venting for now. And by the way, I have 2 cases of perfectly edible chocolate in my spare room. It's never going to end!