You Can't Take Me Anywhere

Last week, I was on a plane bound for home, at 7:30 in the morning.

Another small word about me. There is something in my internal clock that makes me EXTREMELY UNPLEASANT before 10am. I can function, I'm just not very happy about it.

So, I was sitting on the plane,waiting for it to take off, and all of a sudden my seat starts thumping.
There is a kid behind me, about 9 or 10, old enough to know better, and he is slamming his foot into my seat. Like 10 times in a row, he is kicking.

I wait to hear his parents scold him. Nothing. Kick Kick Kick. Thump Thump Thump.
Fuck! We haven't even taken off yet.

Have I mentioned it was early in the morning?

So I turned around in my seat and stared at the kid.
"Hi, I'm Becca. How are you?"
silence.
"Look kid, I am sitting right in front of you on this plane, so if you kick my seat again, I am going to lean my seat back so I'm sitting in your lap, and you will be very uncomfortable. Deal?"
"I'm going to take a nap now."

And that was the end of the kicking.
I gave the kid a thumbs up on the way off the plane, and I was much happier when we landed.
It was 10:25 am.